How to Talk About Finances with Your Spouse or Partner

One in three (34%) partnered Americans identify money as a source of conflict in their relationship.

Talking about finances with your spouse or partner can feel like walking through a minefield. Believe me, I’ve been there. My spouse and I come from vastly different upbringings, with opposing financial philosophies. For years, our money discussions triggered frustration, arguments, and avoidance. But eventually, we found a way to communicate without stress, and it transformed our relationship. It wasn’t easy, but the progress we’ve made shows that change is possible for anyone.

Unfortunately, our story isn’t unique. Many couples face financial conflicts that can damage relationships if left unresolved. Just take a look at these eye-opening statistics.

Studies show 45% of couples argue about money occasionally, and for 25%, it’s their top relationship challenge.

Financial conflicts contribute to 20-40% of divorces, highlighting the serious impact on long-term relationships.

Hidden financial secrets are common – 27% of people admit to hiding money issues, and 53% engage in behaviors classified as financial infidelity.

19% of individuals aged 18-35 have ended a relationship due to financial issues.

These statistics highlight how financial stress can deeply impact relationships. But behind the numbers are real struggles that many couples encounter every day. Let’s explore the most common challenges and why they can be so difficult to overcome.

¹Money Fights: One in three (34%) partnered Americans identify money as a source of conflict in their relationship

 ²Top 6 Marriage-Killing Money Issues

³What Percent of Marriages End in Divorce Because of Money?

 ⁴Financial Infidelity

 ⁵The Cost of Loving: New research finds that financial pressures are causing a huge strain on relationships

Understand the Emotional Impact

Being laid off can feel like a small death—the sudden loss of something that once felt secure. It’s crucial to acknowledge and process your emotions rather than suppressing them. Suppressing how you feel can lead to long-term anxiety, physical symptoms like stomach cramps or racing heart, and difficulty focusing.

Reach out to a trusted family member or friend to discuss how to handle being laid off and the emotions that come with it. Don’t hold them in—getting them out is part of healing.

Immediate Steps to Take After Being Laid Off

Understanding how to handle being laid off starts with knowing what immediate actions to take.

Even if you’re feeling emotionally unsteady, prioritize understanding your severance package if you received one.

File for unemployment benefits if applicable in your situation. Make sure you understand your state’s unemployment laws, especially if you’ve received severance.

What about health insurance? Explore options like COBRA or other types of coverage.

Let your family and close friends know what’s happened so they can support you.

10 Actionable Ways to Move Forward After Your Layoff

1. Take a Breather
   • Give yourself a day or two to process everything before diving into action.
   • Find a calming activity that helps you unwind; watch a movie, play a board game, read a book, etc.
   • Consider a hike through the forest, which I found incredibly soothing. Or spend time by the beach where the rhythmic waves can ease stress.
   • Do something fun with friends.

Takeaway: Taking this time to relax will help you reset and approach your next steps with clarity.

2. Understand Your Severance Package
   • Carefully review your severance details. Ask questions if there are unclear details.
   • Ask questions and clarify benefits like COBRA or PTO payouts.
   • Don’t be afraid to negotiate—I asked for adjustments to my package, and the company agreed. You never know unless you try.

Takeaway: Understanding your severance package fully can provide financial security and peace of mind during this transition.

3. Apply for Unemployment Benefits
   • Contact your local benefits office and apply immediately.
   • Be aware that the process may take longer than expected, so don’t delay. I’m grateful for a friend’s advice to apply early. It took almost two months for my benefits to kick in.

Takeaway: Applying promptly can help reduce financial stress as you wait for the benefits to start.

4. Update Your Resume and LinkedIn
   • Start updating your resume and LinkedIn profile as early as possible. Though this step felt difficult for me initially, it paid off when opportunities arose.
   • Tailor your resume to highlight key accomplishments and relevant skills.
   • Update your LinkedIn headline and summary to reflect your career goals and availability.
   • Reach out to former colleagues for endorsements or recommendations.

Takeaway: An updated resume and LinkedIn profile can open doors to new opportunities and give you confidence during your job search.

5. Notify Your Network
   • Reach out to trusted contacts, friends, or former colleagues. Let them know you’re seeking new opportunities.
   • Use multiple channels like email, LinkedIn messages, or even phone calls to spread the word.
   • Share your updated resume and LinkedIn profile to make the process seamless.
   • Don’t be shy about asking for referrals or job leads. They can help you uncover opportunities you wouldn’t find on your own.
   • Follow up periodically with key contacts to stay on their radar.

Takeaway: Activating your network can uncover hidden opportunities and give you a support system to help you through the transition.

6. Reassess Your Career Goals
   • Use this layoff as an opportunity to evaluate your career path.
   • Reflect on what you enjoyed and didn’t enjoy in previous roles.
   • Consider whether you want to stay in the same field, pivot to a new industry, or even start your own business. I made the bold decision to start my own small business, and it turned out to be the right move for me.
   • Research emerging job markets or roles you’ve always been curious about.

Takeaway: Reassessing your goals can help you align your next job or career move with what truly matters to you. Thus, paving the way for long-term satisfaction.

7. Cut Unnecessary Expenses
   • Review your monthly expenses and cut back on any non-essential items.
   • Cancel or pause subscriptions you don’t use frequently, like streaming services or gym memberships.
   • Delay major purchases, vacations, or other large expenses until you’re financially stable.
   • Prioritize spending on essentials like housing, utilities, and health related expenses.
   • Create a temporary budget to track your spending and savings.
   • I struggled with cutting back initially, but reminding myself it was temporary helped me stay calm.

Takeaway: Reducing expenses, even temporarily, can give you peace of mind which will help stretch your resources while you search for your next opportunity.

8. Upskill or Reskill
   • Identify any skills or certifications that are in demand in your field or desired industry. I did this and it not only boosted my skills but also improved my confidence.
   • Explore free or affordable online learning platforms like Coursera, LinkedIn Learning or Udemy.
   • Attend virtual workshops, webinars, or training events related to your interests.
   • If you’re pivoting to a new field, focus on transferable skills you can build quickly.
   • Consider joining boot camps or mentorship programs that provide hands-on learning.

Takeaway: Gaining new skills can make you more marketable and empower you to tackle future opportunities with greater confidence.

9. Join Job-Seeker Communities
   • Attend local networking events/meetups to connect with professionals in your industry.
   • Join online communities, forums, or LinkedIn groups that focus on job-seeking and career development.
   • Participate actively by asking questions, sharing experiences, and offering support to others.
   • Consider joining a job-seeker accountability group to help you stay motivated and on track.

Takeaway: Job-seeker communities can offer valuable connections, advice, and emotional support to help you navigate this transition successfully.

10. Take Care of Your Mental Health
    • Exercise regularly to release stress and boost your mood.
    • Practice mindfulness or meditation to help calm your mind and improve focus.
    • Spend quality time with loved ones to feel supported and grounded.
    • If needed, seek therapy. There’s no shame in prioritizing your mental well-being.
    • Engage in hobbies or creative activities that bring you joy and relaxation.

I followed these practices, and they turned into long-lasting habits that improved my overall well-being.

Takeaway: Prioritizing your mental health can help you stay resilient and energized as you navigate this challenging time and beyond.

How Setbacks Can Lead to Growth After Being Laid Off

After my layoff, I thought back to specific moments at work and realized I hadn’t stood up for my values. In hindsight, that was part of the problem. My layoff, as painful as it was, became a blessing in disguise. It pushed me to reassess my career and align it with what truly mattered to me.

Anger turned into gratitude. Fear became motivation. Anxiety gave way to creativity. My work/career challenge evolved into a period of personal growth that lasted years.

If you’ve been laid off, remember that small, manageable steps can lead to big change. By making steady progress, you’ll learn how to handle being laid off and create a path toward recovery. As I learned firsthand, consistent effort can work wonders and lead to brighter opportunities.